Oh my God!
A self and happy realization of not being a different specie anymore. Yes, I have fallen in love and not because I want to be picked in thousand beautiful ways.
Indeed, it is titillating and rip-roaring yet horrendous.
A moment when I’m flapping without wings, singing without fears, laughing but not because someone cracked a joke, and crying hard without losing any hope. As if I have got the best jelly beans amongst the lot and there, my love – so hot.
And I feel rejuvenated and all charged up.
When a bud is all set to bloom and gets transformed in the most beautiful flower, spreading marvelously heart throbbing fragrance. When a lover is startled with this new feeling all around, the “sun-rise” automatically looks nourishing and “sun-set” turns all the more romantic.
The virtual musical violin in the background – only a person newly stroked with this emotion could understand.
A lot of things could be interpreted and co-related so before I dive in the pool overflowed with hearts, here, are some gestures which I want to portray before people call me a complete retard.
I’m neither an entertainer nor someone who could embed someone’s broken heart. Choose me in a complete isolation or leave your thoughts straightaway if you want a shoulder to cry upon. I’m not here to join your broken pieces initially. I’m not even an easy catch. I’m not even here to figure you out. If you wish for any such thing, Good Luck kiddo, but I simplistically cannot be a part of this — I don’t have enough of energy no matter how much Bournvita or Horlicks I intake. <Pun Intended>
I am not looking for Mr. Perfect, because I am working on my own imperfections. Not in need for someone who will desperately look at me at the end of anything or everything without having some self-common sense. I don’t need a ROBOT but someone who is sensible enough to take a decision without alcohol, sex, some matches, or dirty stuff. Discussion with me would be lovely but asking me something and following it blindly without giving it a thought is something I can never idolize. This is the place when we will understand each other so can we take a step forward without blindfolds.
I need some space, loner I’m at times. An hour every day to converse with my books, exercise, jump and jog, struggle and juggle with Bollywood news, or just veg out. Some would be the day when I would get on the nerves. Some days it may even be more. It doesn’t mean I don’t care for you or you have started frustrating me. Don’t judge me with that. It simply means that I have a life too, and you are the center of the universe for me but not the only one in that universe. I want time to maintain relationships with everyone. Same space for you too honey. If you want to alter some please don’t panic rather speak your heart out and make me understand calmly. I would respect way more.
Even in the sharpness of suffering, I definitely need to stretch out my arms at least once every day and tap with the lyrics of life jiggled with the soul and maintain harmony. And I need you to understand that.
Make it a judgement free zone. You are free to be completely, 100% you. All of the burping, slightly odd, hogging the covers, overly generous, wickedly funny, crazy affectionate, million other wonderful you things that you are. Be them.
Don’t ever hold the emotions or gestures, even a bit. Stop thinking you’ll offend me or hurt my feelings, or that I will judge you. Because if we’re going to do this thing, all of those things will happen.
And we cannot be afraid that the person we care about is to not going to care about us when we are not perfect—we will be cranky and stupid, and eat an entire bag of lays followed with a bottle of coke (me), and never clean the bathroom or iron the clothes (you). Senseless words will be said.
Take a deep breath and let us take a pledge to stop thinking and TALK.
On that note, let’s fight. Because sometimes you will hate me. And I even want you to do that.
Sometimes I will irritate you limitless-ly that you will have a feeling to scratch your face with your clumsy nails. And believe me, I’ll do the same, because I’m a hurricane. Short, but wicked, and destructive. We will get past it. If we accept each other. If we can give space, and love, and don’t fight dirty.
We will drive each other nuts.
Let take a side we both agree to. After all we love *US*. Take *OUR* side.
I want to be mesmerized by our love. I’m your sunshine and you are my soul. I don’t want to ever take advantage of you— if I do, I want you to gently remind me that sometimes I am selfish. I want to look at you every day, at least once, and wonder at how this perfectly imperfect life came to be.
When you will appreciate me and complement no matter how disastrous I get.
Let me make some tarts for you, without following a recipe, having a tinge of my soul’s love for you, and serve them on mismatched colored dishes. Then I will read and write, and exercise, and you will work on your bitchy laptop. We will be quiet, but content.
Later, we will walk hand in hand while talking about some random stuff. How I don’t know to ride a bicycle or about a trip to Egypt, or perhaps my stilettos, or your golf and perhaps the number of kids we would want. Or maybe we will sit quietly and watch a couple kissing or some children playing. We will walk home, touching hands occasionally. We will make love slowly but roughly, full of passion and heat born of two people who cannot get enough of each other.
I want to be dumb and lovable. And sad. And joyful. Let’s explore each other not because it is required rather we want to, and the backyard where I’ll grow some veggies and terrace where we will gaze at the stars every other day. Let’s bake cakes, muffins, your favorite Choco-chip cookies, and memories, and love, and garden, and a life that is full of…. I hardly know what?
It’s taken me a long time to get to this place and love someone to this extent… And now I’m ready to find out. So here i am…
Would you be there?
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