The sitcom from nearly 1995 made the lives of a lot of people worth cherishing, virtually. Apparently, I received exposure to the series a year after losing the threads named Friends. There are flaws in each one, but blaming instead of accepting is practiced more often.
Acceptance is that generalized identity lost in the coward attires beneath a situational blue. My group started at school and ended after graduation. We all were imperfect, but some were more than I ever thought. Few questioned with a raised brow – “Why are you the only one to be blamed for each one?”
“Perhaps I am a witch” is all I have each time.
I countered how one of them extended her statement to one of the mutual connections with a pinching conclusion of reluctance.
“I hate her!” she said
Struggling with Why and How made her hate me in the first place! I was, actually, a hate material with all classmates from the very start. Never became friends with the same age group and that hardly defined my weakness in the eyes. Rather, I came out to be the strongest. The moment of surviving amidst hatred learned at an early age. The particularly raw age defined why I hardly had any friends of the same group. Having a deep conversation with my mother while taking about the helplessness of putting in the cage of unlikeliness, she murmured surmounting utter pride:
“They are jealous of you!”
I theoretically took it a joke but, factually it was true according to her instincts and experiences. A mother is always considerate of her child, but my lady was somewhat different. Before this particular incident, she never appreciated me like others. Stating the cons amongst all the pros was one favorite task of my lioness.
“You excel everything coming your way. Far more modest than others while tagging yourself as a learner!” Further expansion while doing the household chores.
Some group of students, once, told me how skinny I look. Later, after getting detected with Leucoderma, few jumped out of utter excitement of me hiding my emerging light. I suppressed my identity which outshined me in the coming years. My inhibitions of limiting the strength I possessed. Talking about the enticing dilemma with the growing age, I had a group of 8 girls intact. Tried to bridge the gap always but failed due to the backbitings. I still remember how no one amongst them showered the happiness for the ladder I stepped. The only girl’s gang I lost for good. Perhaps they felt the same but still bitched. I wondered how people once friends transform to haters. Ahh! The sheer black truth of defining uncomfortable phase.
Thinking of each side I gathered the animosity of crunching the inside turbulence. The turbulence of not having the desired bunch of people of the preferred age group to hop around. The amiable crust of emotions triggered inside the shotgun with severe bullets laying the impact of utter despised perplexes.
Crucially, it was all connected. The connectors of zodiacs rephrasing the eternity. The day I lost the group was the day I gained my self-respect. The time I was least respected, the moment of utter subconsciousness, the frayed identity, and the mismatched commitment. We all might have faced the consequences, but I know my side of the story. Without sub-holding the grudges, I moved ahead with the brighter parts. Taking up all while gulping down the mess, the proceeding was a strong outlook, but it certainly made me wholesome of the partial knowledge about the world.
The junction of reality made the clearances of not having friends and thus the web series came to rescue. I still struggle to find the same people around as being showcased. Yes, I am a follower of relationships pictured with sacredness.
Initially, it killed deep down, But a necessity it turned.
Difficult but I decided to walk away.Genuinely in need to move past the entire clutch.
I am yet craving for the actual definition of friends.
The set which celebrates and cherishes on your success and jumps with excitement in the era of appreciation, who never leaves that hold no matter how hard the situation might turn, stay intact in the stances of utter weakness, holds secret and fights with the one who betrays in spite of having any actual connections.
Ohh, I miss such bunch.
Wish to have such irrespective of any such holdings. Real friends are really hard to find and if they cannot be found; a snobbish incarnation is preferable in this igniting lantern.