In between!

Days passed, and I started to see the world through his eyes. It cannot be cheesy for me, but it turned. I loved someone more than the definitions. I loved someone beyond the inhibitions. The truth slew the identity and revealed the ignorant. I changed for him. Further, changing to deteriorate my real self. He wasn’t at fault, but I stood culprit!

“You need to do something about the irregular monthly cycles. Astrologer mentioned something about conceiving late. Please don’t get me wrong. I am just concerned. Anyone amidst us could be the reason. I just wish you to be healthy. You don’t need to think about it.”

I fail to understand the conversation. Probably it was a misconception in my eyes or a kind of flaw or my weakness or some imperfection shit. Can horoscopes come in between? Was it all about the horoscopes? Can judgments range to such a bend of mind? Or is it just my overthinking.

No matter what it did hurt. I cannot forget the thorns of the society, associates, and people around but the questions coming directly from him changed my subtility. It gave me strength while killing me weak. It gave me a smile to hide thousands of tears. I was fulfilled yet hungry.

Life changed in a span. While waiting for a lovable tough, I was thrashed unintentionally. He loved me but irritated with imperfections.

I pulled myself together that evening while making it to the airport. It wasn’t hard, but the words shunned my desire…

“You are Manglik, and you may or may not conceive at an appropriate time.”

I recalled…

“I am not Manglik (For the girls who are – is it sinful?), I may or may not conceive at an appropriate time – can that make me less lovable?”

In the world full of happiness, am I the only one to be blamed for everything?

to be continued…

Swatii Chandak

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