I have a confession to make. A confession of a daughter who is soon to be married to the man of her dreams. But hang on, Let’s just sideline the man of her dreams for a while, and talk about an important aspect one tends to forget in reality and choose to live with. Since it is acceptable all over and carried from ages(The fact I am about to lay down); which shouldn’t be altered as per the society we live in, extraordinarily in the name of the traditions.
(It has nothing to do with my guy since he is way more supportive than I thought of! Get to know in the upcoming paragraphs!)
In the recent past, I came across a situation where in my father went through several tests once again in my presence; painful than ever(to be specific). We read all the articles portraying what a parent might feel if something happens to a child, Well, I do wish to share the feelings when I saw my world suffering. It has been long since my father suffered a paralysis attack (the hand is yet in the recovery mode from past 5 years but no signs of improvement), he got some unknown disorders in distinct body parts according to the doctors. I remember the day when a doctor in Medanta Delhi gave a prescription with another bifurcation describing how he could opt for a room as per the liberty and strength his pocket allows. The more the money, the more the “five-star” treatment would be offered in due considerations with the extras and commissions. I was helpless and shaken that day with certainly nothing to ooze out. Yet, it was mentioned how he could be attacked with full body paralysis anytime even after the process of Laminoplasty (as mentioned in the doctoral terms), we were definitely uncertain to go for the procedure. I saw my father weak and helpless which made me way more helpless. I was a young child with a dream to take over the world but unable to cure the pain of her father. I failed the very first time in the examination life offered. From that day to this, he is trying to fight with that effect of paralysis every day making me believe how strong he is, which I know he isn’t, yet I give him a satisfactory smile just to transfer a positive vibe. Someone once mentioned that the positivity will transform everything for good! I don’t know who we both are fooling yet we practice it every day to give a failed but picking-up smile in search of an improvement.
Well, talking about the recent past, I saw my father coming across series of tests again with a couple of X-rays and stuff. I know how painful it was for him to sit for hours long; for tests, inability to drive the car, lack of sleep, loss of weight, teary eyes and just a mention – “Who will take care of me after 4 months?(Dramatically)” There he mentioned immediately “I know Praful and you together will handle it all!” Although I wondered what made him think so, I knew he is affected by the killing thought process of the dangerous society. I just promised myself while hiding that tear which was about to leave the secure home, “I am not going anywhere, Baba! I am right here to take care of all the pains, making sure that the happiness knocks the door. (Much more dramatically)” Amidst such a promise, my fiance turned to be a charmer as well. Where people happily announce you to introduce you to the family, He sat with me right after the engagement while mentioning – “I am not here to take you away, rather I am an addition to the family. (Much much more dramatically)” There are times when I genuinely wonder what good I must have ever done to get such a charming father and a pure hearted fiance(boyfriend).
A parent cries when a child is hospitalized, also, the same amount of tears witnessed when a parent faces the similar situation in front of that same child. I know how it pains that particular nerve when he gets that injection; the same way he cries when I go through a procedure. I know how painful his exercises get when he silently mourns hiding his face only to make sure my vision is not in reach. I know how he acts strongly in all my failures while he himself tries to cope up with the setback of watching me face one. I felt exactly the same way he must have had. He has been my hero from forever. He has been that light of hope which made me what so ever I am or wish to be. The only one who has never and will never judge my failures or taunt but make me learn through them. The only man who believed what it is to be a Dad who is more of a friend. He never judged the hopping nature I had, I didn’t judge the questions he had. He never asked me to pursue a certain thing, I never asked him to extend a Dad kinda favor to be successful. We have a chemistry which is blissful. He is my problem solver, my treasure, my ideal, my mentor, and more so the man who owns all my respect. He taught me how respect is earned and not be to be sought and asked for; as an order just because you are an elder. And, with all this, he gifted me Praful as one of the best mentors ever in the journey of this life. A life partner I cannot be happy enough to have! Touchwood!
I came across all his teachings of Baba, played the disc of memories again. Where he made me better for my good, Became my first teacher in this furious world, The man who asked me to turn off the music system, making me understand there is no such concept of staying the same, either relapse or improve; the way you take it. He asked me to cherish my beauty for who I am rather than hiding beneath tons of artificial masks to get myself loathed with millions of compliments. He taught me the meaning of being candid rather than faking the photogenic desire; core emotion to strike with. He taught me the meaning of charity practiced in silence rather than the presence of people eyeing on your deeds with purpose. The time when he shared the meaning of success rather than the faulty praises. I learned the meaning of true friends and true hawks from him.
The only person who told me to free myself from the inhibitions and move forward with optimisms. The only man who made my dreams work in all the corners of the shell without any judgments.
In each phase of life, we might be on each other’s nerves all the times; but he made sure to make me realize either I could moan about something I ever dreamt of while bragging, or get something straight by my hard work if ever cared to crave that much.
He managed to give me the strength to become a leader, to touch the invincible skies, to liberate my fears and to be a queen, The moment I feared my existence, you made me realize I am not like others, I am beautiful, I have the fire to succeed….
Believe me, I cannot be the way he is, but I feel exactly the same way he does. I was connected to the umbilical chord which signifies the strength of a child and a mother (Which surely is), but the same amount of strength a child is blessed with when a Father takes the baby in his hands for the first time, singing a lullaby while putting to a relaxing nap. From that day to this he gets restless whenever I lack sleep, so do I when he is unable to. He acts fussy when I don’t eat, the same I do as he is a foodie. Believe me, It is hard to be asked to a child that your father might need to get hospitalized, that the lungs are getting a bit affected. I don’t know; How to sum up the feelings altogether, but I do know I feel equally broken. A core part of me is unable to respond when he gets affected. People keep asking why I left the opportunities; it’s because nothing was important than his happiness to see me every day when he returns after a long day at work. That has been my Everest.
Furthermore, I don’t know who made the rituals of mentioning that your home becomes secondary after marriage. Luckily, I will not face such cruelty because of the man I am with. But what about the souls out there who still are in such an arrangement where they are asked to follow the rituals not even appreciable but just traditional and according to the norms. Can’t it be an addition to the one you already had? I wrote about a woman is responsible for the suppression of another one, but today I wish to mention how the thought processes prevailing in our society can be poisonous as well. I don’t know why people say that a girl’s parent must take care of themselves because she will no more be a part of that family again. Why can’t the soulmate be an add on to the family? Why can’t both the families be treated with equality without throwing oodles of feminism and protests? Why can’t society just shun the useless practices? Why can’t we be the change rather than writing huge articles? It might look like a rant written by me because I am a part of that coward’s society as well. My words aren’t stammering today because of the support I have got from both the powerful and most important men in my life I wish to stand and talk about something which is certainly not acceptable to me. We are individuals, why can’t we respect individualism? I don’t know if this will change a part of me or not, I don’t know if this can ever… But the practices of differentiating definitely requires an alteration. The evolution is the need of the hour and so is the amount of practical and non-judgemental thinking. Have you ever come across a man who will not force you with the masculinity in a certain way rather supports you while making you powerful further showering the definition of real Man? Well, I have been blessed by a father who has the same practice and now the life partner. It makes me way more outspoken while believing in myself. Someone who is not here to question my ideation rather understands to have a constructive definition. Although, I know how much both the poor souls might have been facing at the time due to my frustration levels. <Giggles>
Coming back to the cause again;
I don’t know the expectations which are laid according to the truth or the lie which is practiced from ages and considered to be true now? Apparently, the truth should be stepped out of the curtain. It is not a part of a revolution but a plea to all the daughter out there, We aren’t helpless.
It is said it requires a much powerful man to handle a lady with an opinion. People try to search the feasible options in search of a soulmate. But, hats off to the guy who gulps down all my ideation and ideologies while making it all worth it. He dared to handle all my inhibitions. There is nothing sexier than having a man who isn’t scared of a power but feels blessed to enrich it with each passing day. Believe me, it is hard to handle a dominating girlfriend for life while keeping her essence alive without making any changes. He makes sure to take care of me in a simplistic yet mesmerizing way; eradicating sadness. The purity of love is not based on my behavior but he respects that individuality. He is not even a mentor but a friend I can never have. Well, isn’t he adorable? <Touchwood>
Well about daughters,
We were, We are, and We will be the strengths. If we have the powers to be the pride of two families why can’t we give both of ’em that equal attention without an excuse? It isn’t about why to go against the patriarchy rather challenging what is needed. After all, the set of parents who have raised you without judgments so that another family can take you after screening procedures should be taken care. They are growing weak physically and not to be left ( Stands true for both a Man and a Woman). Tomorrow will be better automatically if we improve the present while taking a pledge towards an improvised thinking. Stop discriminating and accept the way things are. Not everyone is blessed with the power like such, for all these hidden voices – More power to you from all of us! For the entire society with a ridiculous approach; there will be people out there who will question the thoughts; Let ’em
If each father and lover follow such footsteps, no protests would ever be required asking happiness. Change will eventually happen as it starts right from our doorsteps,
From an Outspoken Daughter and a much Outspoken Lover
Swatii Chandak (Gudiya/Golu)