An excerpt from Priyanshi’s desk!

“Amidst the darkness, in the stinky hospital bed, there was a ray of hope in the form of my parents. There were some 20 friends dazzling at me, eyeing with sympathetic tears and pale smiles;  yet I craved for that one man to hold on to! I kept on asking everyone because my inner self hallucinated him to be around. I pictured him in my sleep holding my hand with a phrase – “Everything will be fine!”

Life isn’t difficult, rather it shows the true colors at the right time. There was this one moment when I needed the wholesome love; and what I received was a fake concern over a message! You do not need words, rather actions to make you brighter! I received the truth in one of the most painful forms, ever! Yet, it revived me beautifully. It made me a better person knowing what I have lost was never mine. Is he to be blamed? No! He wishes to live an ordinary life and being with an extraordinary mess like I am, turns out to be real difficult. Although, the promises cringe my heart!

I am an alpha woman trying to give in everything possible, but this time I needed empathy, yet I was extended blames. It isn’t the fault he beholds rather the environment he is a part of; sadly it is all a part of our own value systems. No one is correct, just the differences leave us in wonderment.

As my best friend mentioned,
“You need someone to absorb your energy. Do not mourn over someone who isn’t caring to, even, give you the strength at this point. He wasn’t in love with you. It was all a pattern!”

Each and every word she mentioned poked a hole inside my heart, not to be refilled in the times to come. I was planning to cover my scars and move forward. Not moving on rather keeping the love I have for Shaan. I do not believe in replacements, I believe in the old school relationships. His existence is not I am looking rather the image I have of him in my mind, body, and soul! I did my part, now I rest the case because the options routing the path together has faced a fall.

“You are beautiful!” I craved to hear while shedding some 17 pounds in the past couple of days. No one did, hence I faced the mirror, took a step ahead, looked through my peeling skin, darkened body, digging eyes, and stabbing dark circles; only to strengthen my inner self, I murmured while cornering myself from the sedating chaos, “You are beautiful, Priyanshi!”

It was hard, yet I tried again with a smile, revealing my pale and yellow set of weak teeth – “You are beautiful. It is a phase. This too shall pass.” I was louder this time!

“I knew he won’t be there if something major turns up.” The fact is people look at love materialistically rather love is something way more than that. It is about staying through thick and thins. Probably I wasn’t worth that. And, who would wish to stick to someone who might die in the year to come? Some crazy fool like me which is pretty hard to find, or a true love which will do anything to give you life.

To be continued…

While extending empathy to my own creation
Swatii Chandak

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A plea: I am a writer; Do not mix my personal and professional lives!

In a world where each one has a say to everything you perform, I was fallen in the trap of a society called educated but illiterate in their own distinct ways! Let me be harsh today and I apologize for the same but wish to vent out anything and everything I have received in the past 3 years; And I can empathize with my fellow writers because they must have felt the same.

For the starters,
To my engineer clan; Have I ever asked you why your project didn’t work out; it was because you were PMSing or the boyfriend/girlfriend had a disastrous fight, or your mood swing had cost you a huge deal?
To my doctor clan; Have I ever questioned the reason behind your failure in a particular surgery blending the personal grudges with someone?
To my chef clan; Have I ever blamed your tasteless food a revenge to someone’s bad deed?
No, right? Then why do you question my words. It is my choice to write about world, emotions, girls/boys, marriage, fantasy, fiction, and what not! Do you really wish to make your life miserable while sharing my writing screenshots while figuring out who I am writing it for? I observe which is my job, I write which is my religion, I present because I wish to reach to the concerned people. No matter if even a single one can connect through me, I wish to do that. Am I waiting for the masses? No, I am waiting for some sane mindsets to understand that my personal and professional life is different, just like their.

Writing about a boyfriend and a lover never signifies I have written my personal life. It signifies I am writing on friend zones! Grow Up!

I stay on the social websites because that is a part of my religion I am pursuing. It is my choice and I certainly would not wish you to poke your nose in my job as I do not poke in yours! I may be harsh because I am condemned to do so!

Do not make me believe that your degrees from Top – Notch colleges turns out to be a piece of disaster just because you do not read the words and work as a piece of literature rather wasting your time in connecting the useless dots. I wonder, if you could have done a better job while getting a percentage in the examinations rather than stalking people and making their life a hell while enjoying the entire scenario like a Villain which you do not have to prove because your actions make you worse than the cute face you tend to make. Believe me it will be uncovered someday! Till then try to focus to be a better person rather digging a hole in someone else’s plate. As someday the hole will re-fill but I am really sorry for your habit which will eventually make you an enemy of humanity and the reason of Patriarchy and more so negativity! It is plea with the folded hands, how about shutting yourself because my sugar coated explanations have not worked rather you have tried to make me vulnerable while making me to leave my passion at a certain point of time.

I am in a free country and it is my right to raise issues and talk about insanity. I will do so because whatever genre I may choose, that is my responsibility solely! How about not making it your gossip over tea rather than discussing much more alarming issues rather than making me a celebrity of your dull lives?

This is not a hate letter rather an arrogance which has made me to write on behalf of each and every fellow writer going through the same circumstance!

How about trying to act educated today?

No so warm regards
Swatii Chandak

A love letter before the actual one!

Hey honey,

I am literally not leaving you by any chance; hence here I strike again. We keep on clinging to each other than miserable and heartbreaking fall apart — carrying lives after lives. Nonetheless, I am conclusively approaching towards my 27th birthday in June and the counterpart somewhere in this year might have turned or will turn 27. Do I know the intensity of love we carry for each other? Was it always the same or gets stronger with the tests of the time?

Continue reading

The very first step towards achieving a True Love;

Aren’t we aware of the complications inside a true and charismatic relationship? Well, let me lay down some of the check pointers.

Amidst watching a movie, hearing a lyrical tune,  a saga of lovey dovey romance; all we get is a proper rhyme with some uncontrollable anxiousness to be followed. These pretty disruptive illusions tend to take you away from the real love you have for the person. Continue reading

Treat her right, She will all be yours!

Yes, you might be in love with her.

The love as fresh as the first drop of water during drought; like the bee hives clinging with the batch of honey; the same way the bud, responsive towards the petals and the leaves; and some appropriate context of sugar, lime, and cinnamon to keep the romanticism of the morning regime alive.  Believe me, she knows if you didn’t love her you wouldn’t ever be with her.

I know you deal with your distinct emotions all the time; but please don’t fall for her in all the wrong ways subconsciously. An ideal relationship can transform to a curse if not focused appropriately. She has a crater which will shatter her the day she realizes she deserves more than she is being offered.

Nevertheless, I wish and pray that you stop loving her in all the wrong ways. Don’t forget to shower each ray of conscious hope to make her realize she is celebrated for whatever she has done and planning to do in future as well. You must have an idea of how that consciousness is the reason for the strength in a relationship.

Do you remember the time when you saw her the first time? The combination of everything you ever wanted to come across.  Right from her eyes, to honest smiles, cute wilderness, necessary independence, and her confusing sense of humor, there has been something which you have longed to find in the crowd. And she came to make you realize that dreams come true. She is right there like a dream in front of you, with a craving to meet, from forever.

And something which charmed you the most was her wholesomeness.

IMG_6633You say you love her than let her be this way. Why do you wish to change something you have longer for? Let her be the same with that promise ring you gave her and she will keep you surprising with the optimism she has in stores. Let her be beautiful, enjoy her wilderness, and cherish the wholesomeness.

Have you seen her writing the pages of the destiny? I hope you know why she has let you stay. Because she wanted to keep the reason for her broadened smile forever. You became the reason where her pages flipped yet never finishes. Suddenly her destiny intertwined with all of you.

She has been the creator of her own desires, giving them a route. I hope you will understand how you became a part of each route.  Believe me, your expression towards her, establishes her identity to herself; she basically has started looking at you from your eyes – You are shouldering the responsibility being a mirror for her now. You will be the reason for her glow; if she gets lost; the reason for her depression; also the reason for her success.

Choose wisely as per what you want her to be – She depends on you by all means, subconsciously.

She becomes a puppet of your actions and highly considers the swiftness you handle her with, for all the time. Believe me, you are loathed with much more than the thought of ever.
And if you are in that kind of love with her, please start revitalizing it all. As her demons can only find a solace beneath your angels.

Remember that she was once ignited and thrashed – another blow is not she is looking for all this while. If she is trying to be with you for so long please understand how she is leaving behind the fears, shivers, and insecurities so that you can cherish her. Don’t let them enter again as she has been victimized once, brutally. She has still tried to get away from the past just to make the emotion of love work. She longs for it. Believe me!

She has made you the keeper of all her fears to change into the securities. She is insecure please know she needs love and care and attention. Please don’t disappoint her. You have been the only ray of hope for her.

You know what, the era of fights start when you think you have examined her fears and affection completely.

IMG_6619She isn’t a book which can be completed rather a series which has new pages associated – thrilling yet surprising. She’s something yet to be discovered—Please wake up each day like you saw her for the first time – Fresh and unopened.

Try to be available. She is craving for your presence – the emotional one.  If she is now awarded with the availability, you will see her rising eventually. Believe me, distance is just a myth. Try to be there all day long yet she will feel aloof, or be miles apart yet she will fell the warmth. Depends on how you take it.

Kindle her expressions, her wants, her desires, her selflessness. Enroute her soul like an alien fascinated by the land; the same way you would want to travel each and every part of the world.

Believe me, you will smash her if she ever gets to know that she is just a necessity more than a passion. You will further smash her when you want to have a conversation with her according to your comfortability. She craves to see you present. She wants to have that right. Because you are the only one she wishes to run to during her weakness or come to cherish her success with – Not just when you feel trapped and you seek an understanding. Look past what have you done to her.

I don’t disagree with your fights and sufferings of the past.  She will be there to ooze out all her love to make you feel like a kind. She is independent yet dependent.  She is not looking for someone to fix her up, neither do you. She has the capacity to blossom each part of you. But if you only strike when destiny plays a card on you, she will face the final smash. Know how she has compromised and adjusted silently for you.

She unfolded the pages just to feel an extra ounce of security and stability – giving that you could understand her being, herself, her emotions, her wrath. Did she tell you all this because she thought of getting fixed? No. She shared because she wished to tell you the reason of why and how she stands today – Firm yet scared, shivering and anxious.

She is looking forward to you to recognize— that the measures aggravated by affection, indulgent, and endurance surely matters of how you both stand.

If she has shared her shapelessness, don’t treat her as you know her cracks rather take her wholly in her shell. Let her come to you to join her missing pieces as she will glow more in the process.

Believe me. Hug her tight, kiss her hard when she looks deeper in your eyes and than apart.

Know her; she shouts because she feels like a loser for her insecurities have grown and it all needs to be satiated. Hear her inhibitions as she has taken a toll to start speaking in front of you. Talk to her hand in hand while making sure she oozes out just to forget it with time. Be the reason for her calmness and she would cross oceans for you. Understand her because all she wants is a support.

Let love be the reason to reunite your existence because a zing never happens again. The cupid has struck, let it stay. When she shares her naked soul is when she believes; you will protect the framing of her thoughts and restlessness striving to turn it all into the best.

IMG_6623
You are her mirror now – where she comes to reconfirm her craziness, wilderness, and independence. Be ready to accept her the way she is and things will turn fine.

If you are in love with her start structuring her as she has already been doing it for you. If she knows that your effort has started, she will make it work double while adding her part. Believe me, she is way different than you or your counterparts think.

Believe me, if you take her to watch the romantic sunset, she’ll be the reason for all your successful sunrises. Believe me, if you take her for a lunch, she will bring in all the flavors you have missed so far. Believe me, if you will treat exactly the way she deserves to be, she will surprise your instincts doubling the happiness repeatedly. Believe me, if you will love her passionately, she will thank god each day. And if you take her to gaze at the twinkling sky, she will bring the entire universe at your doorstep.

The moments are momentary!

Yes, the heart sank knowing the reality of not standing beside him on his cherished day.  I wanted to shed the tears grieving the distance rather chose to make the entire day a hefty ride.

While expressing the wrenching separation, I searched if I am considered valuable enough to be the part of his marked dates of celebration. Sadly I wasn’t.

Perhaps he wished but couldn’t. This makes me introspect the failed reasons to accomplish a wish. How much of a sorry behavior can a self-created world transform? According to me, it is immeasurable! Continue reading

Art on the Metro Tracks – Cartist!

What a sheer bliss Friday afternoon offered. A word of thanks to Himanshu Jangid – Founder of Cartist for extending a fantabulous opportunity to the artists of Pinkcity. Lazying around the day when my eight years younger best friend came rushing just to take me for fun filled metro ride with the blend of art, the instincts knew the transformation of the upcoming hours would be memorable. And, Instincts are never wrong. Continue reading

Music with a literary bend – Samarth Swarup

From a Youtube sensation to a family’s pride; from a scholar to a musician; from a traveler to a literature enthusiast; It turned a sheer bliss while meeting an inspiration to millions – “Samarth Swarup.”  He undoubtedly mentions how the readers have a majestic taste for good music. Without a training in classical, he vibrates the notes as they claim to be his own. Apparently, while hearing one of his symphonies, raining clouds made us wonder if he had hit one of the vocals of Raag Malhaar. Nonetheless, Applauded by Sonu Nigam for his musical chords, this rising star got the award as Shaan-e-Rajasthan by the Governor. He also has recognitions on the wall of fame at the premium platforms. Impressively, he defined music extending another foresight. Continue reading